Senior Turbulence In The Skies – Traveling With An Elderly Parent
This is an informal description of an interview that could have taken place with Judy’s son, Herbert. The account and facts are genuine.
Please tell us about a trip that you took with your mother.
The very last trip I took with my Mom was in February 2016, several months before she died. She passed away at the beginning of the summer and this trip took place in late winter of the same year. We rented a beautiful apartment on the beach in Miami for her. I flew down with her to Florida for two days to get her settled. On this trip I took along a medical alert device for her to wear since she was staying alone (consequently she did not even wear the device). I affixed post it notes around the apartment with key important information. For example, the combination for the front door lock, instructions to control the air conditioning, and emergency phone numbers of friends of ours nearby. I filled up the refrigerator and freezer with enough food to last for the duration of her stay. The only items she would need to fill in on was milk and maybe some eggs. My mother can make a meal from anything and everything in the pantry and refrigerator therefore I was not concerned about her eating. My mother’s stay went by without a hitch and a month later I was back in Miami to pick her up.
What was your most challenging trip with your mother?
We have taken Mom on many vacations and trips since my father passed away, but the most challenging one by far was one particular trip to Israel. My mother was more youthful and vivacious than most women a quarter of her age (she was born over 15 years before World War II). We had a close to life threatening experience at the end of our vacation.
Did your mother have any health conditions?
Yes, she did. She suffered from asthma, shortness of breath and had both a heart valve replacement and a heart pacemaker. She also had stomach surgery a number of years before which limited her intake of food.
What did she do when you dined out in restaurants?
Mom loved ambiance. She was an artist and found anything of beauty breathtaking, whether it was the scenery or the food. She came with us to every restaurant and tried each dish including fried ice cream. It didn’t matter if later on that evening the food would leave her body in various ways.
What about walking?
Walking was difficult for her and she would always make sure to hold on to someone, but she did not use a cane. It was late Thursday evening in Israel when her grandson, who was in school there took her on a tour of the bakeries in his neighborhood. The smell of fresh rolls was overwhelming. Her grandson was able to sneak her into the kitchen of one the bakeries and slip a roll out for her to taste. Hot rolls are not the best thing for a sensitive stomach but she didn’t care. “You only live once” was her motto.
Was that the same evening you were returning to the states?
Yes, the plane was leaving very late that evening and we were able to get in a last stroll in the night air which had a negative effect on her asthma. If you are flying with an elderly loved one that has asthma, better take a day flight.
Did this give you any difficulties getting to the airport?
No, but when we got to the airport, Mom’s breathing became extremely labored. She had trouble catching her breathe and was close to having an asthma attack.
Were you able to board the plane?
As the time for boarding got closer we realized that we would have to make a major decision – to embark or not. The toughest issue was the fact that her medication which would mitigate an asthma attack was mistakenly packed in her suitcase which was already checked in. We did not want to admit to the personnel that there was a health issue because they would then prevent us from boarding the plane. We felt that we might be able to stabilize her by requesting a wheelchair which we did. Once Mom was in handicapped mode we were given the royal treatment. The first thing they did is to take us by special bus to the plane. On the bus my wife and I were communicating silently as to how to solve this dilemma. Should we take the risk and board the plane for a minimum of a ten hour trip? We tried not articulate our concern in front of her.
How did you finally make your decision?
It was Thursday night and our main concern was to get her back home to see her own physician and if she required hospital care she would be in the United States. If we decided to stay back the next flight would not be until 48 hours later. We finally decided that we would go on the plane and pray. Mom immediately reclined her seat after takeoff and remained that way for the entire flight neither talking nor eating for the entire duration of the trip. Miraculously we made it intact.
How did you handle sitting next to her the entire flight?
Usually I am a relaxed flyer, however, on this particular trip I was literally scared to death. I envisioned the plane having to make an emergency landing in a foreign country. My wife, on the other hand (who was on this journey with us) is usually a very jittery flyer but her jitters were diverted on this flight by watching the flight GPS channel. Her eyes did not leave the screen the entire trip. Each time the arrow moved she expressed a sigh of relief. When we were more than halfway to our destination we both became very hopeful that Mom would arrive safely. She finally fell asleep breathing very heavily and that turn of events gave us a few hours of our own easier breathing.Upon landing we picked up our bags as quickly as humanly possible and opened Mom’s to extract her prednisone. Soon after that she began to feel somewhat better.
What did you learn about traveling with a senior with health issues from this trip?
Carry on any medications in your carry on and never place important medications in checked luggage. It’s also a good idea to include a list of medications and dosages, just in case a doctor’s visit is needed during the trip. All of our trauma could have been avoided if we had been more diligent in monitoring Mom’s medications. We were often fooled by her youthful looks and behavior not realizing just how sick she really was.
Anyone, young or old can be negligent when it comes to being responsible for medicines. I think it could have been subconscious desire to be just like everyone else and not be reliant on medications that caused Mom to leave her medicine in her checked baggage. I really don’t want to psychoanalyze her too much. She was so full of life and spontaneous and never looked at herself as a sick person.
How did your mother’s joy of living relate to her social life?
She had friends who would call her every morning to complain about their aches, pains and family issues. She would listen and nod her head and empathize with them. If I happened to be there when she put down the phone, she would exclaim, “I also have pain possibly worse than theirs but why should I complain I’m so thankful to be alive and kicking?” In fact, some of these friends outlived her continuing to lead relatively active lives. Surprisingly, one of them, the worst of the complainers, spends her winters in Florida swimming and enjoying the sun until this day.
How did your mother pass away?
My mother’s cardiologist had a dilemma. My mother did not want to take Coumadin because it would be intrusive for her lifestyle. She did not want to be limited in what she could eat as well as going for the required blood tests regularly. The doctor prescribed Pradaxa because she had atrial fibrillation and needed Pradaxa to regulate her heart. However, Pradaxa is not generally prescribed for people with artificial heart valves. I believe the heart valve replacement that Mom had was not artificial, but she ultimately died from internal bleeding.
Authors Note:
If you are caring for a senior and would like to share your experience feel free to reach out to the Senior Comfort Guide at info@seniorcomfortguide.com. When caregivers come together and share their ideas and stories it could provide support and guidance for each other. At any time if you have a question or uncertain if your loved one is getting the optimal care, please reach out to Northeast Ohio’s senior advisor, Max Compton. He will be welcoming at addressing all of your questions and concerns about senior care in the Ohio region.
