Keeping Busy In Retirement
“What do you need that for?”
“This brand is cheaper”
“Please read this label the lettering is too small”
I hope these phrases don’t sound too familiar to you because they infer that you are not keeping busy enough in retirement. If your husband used to do the shopping or your wife was the supermarket champ of bargains in the past, role reversals or intrusions on each other’s territories, can cause unneeded tension to rise between otherwise happy couples.
In your younger days, if you were the supermarket guru, you became accustomed to shopping with your own particular methods. Your spouse could have chipped in to do a minor pick-up here or there, if you were in a bind. People who were not attuned to shopping together in their younger years might have totally different ideas of what grocery errands entail.
The kitchen is another dangerous territory. One husband who retired was in the kitchen lab one day and was amazed at the grains of rice his wife was pouring into a pot of boiling water. “That little bit of rice is all you need to make enough rice for the two of us?”, he asked. “No”, answered the wife, “ this will also be enough for the freezer!” Or what about the husband who decided to surprise his wife with french toast on Mothers Day. The lady of the house was duly impressed at how deliciously appetizing the egg and bread dish looked. She dipped a piece of the french toast into the pancake syrup as her mouth watered expectantly. After biting into the morsel she was astonished to taste hot red pepper flakes liberally sprinkled on her french toast. “What’s the problem?”, asked her husband innocently. As you may infer, this was the last time the husband experimented in the kitchen.
Now, when a husband retires, he invades assorted territories that were previously off limits to him. It can be the supermarket, the kitchen and even the laundry room. We will not go into detail about the husband whose good intentions backfired to the point where the couple was forced to buy a new washing machine since the husband overloaded it with linen and towels. Fortunately, the flood did not ruin their new kitchen floor.
A well- meaning husband did not want to bother his tired wife who had withdrawn to the bedroom for the night. She had forgotten to turn on the dishwasher. Looking under the sink, this considerate husband, found a bottle labeled, “ dish-washing detergent”, and poured it into the dishwasher soap dispenser. A few minutes later, he was quite bewildered to see bubbles escaping in great quantities from the bottom of the dishwasher.
In all the different articles and blogs about the advantages and dangers of retirement, there is a universal theme – keep busy. As a couple or a single, staying busy is the blessing that will keep you feeling vibrant and healthy. It all depends on the personality and previous pastimes that the senior has experienced. People who were so busy with their jobs and careers and never had a moment to exercise, will appreciate opportunities they never envisioned. Visiting with their grand-kids, exploring new hobbies and working on their spirituality will give them continuous positive development of their personalities and character traits.
Spouses should continue with their division of labor in their homes. This is opportunity to grow closer but not too close. Keep your hobbies and friends and respect your spouse’s independence. Statistics have shown that in Jewish Orthodox communities, men who study Talmud daily and go to pray at their synagogue every morning tend to live much more productive lives. If their former job or career was intellectually oriented, the learning of the Talmud each day for increasing amounts of time will sharpen their minds. Talmud poses questions that do not have sure cut answers. The person must think the questions through as well as discuss the perplexities with a peer or study partner.
Women who had careers will redirect themselves to interests that they did not have time to pursue while working. Women tend to approach retirement with more creativity. Some become writers, many volunteer for needy causes and/or raise money for charity. It is difficult to imagine that a not-for-profit organization would refuse a reliable volunteer in this age of major cutbacks of funding and donations. There are countless opportunities to help and the retiree’s mission is to find the right fit. Some people are amazing with older people, some people enjoy mentoring children, others find volunteering at the library fulfilling. If you love sports you can coach, if you have a passion for books and teaching, then volunteer at the school or library. If you were a professional in your previous life, then by all means, give to the community. Accountants are needed to give free tax advice, lawyers are helpful for citizens facing expensive legal issues. The list is endless.
In both the men’s scenarios and the women’s, introduction to new friends and study partners makes for fascinating encounters with people they never would have met in the younger years. Unlike their younger counterparts, these seniors have the confidence to fail. Whether it’s taking up a sport like golf for the men, or a hobby like painting and pottery for the women, they can laugh at their imperfections until they prevail in their new endeavors. Of course, one should take lessons in any new pursuit, and as we get older we realize that we can learn from others even those much younger than we are. Many folks did not have the time to practice a sport they enjoy while they were in the rat race. Some clubs or facilities have learn to play lessons available for a fee. I know of someone who learned to play tennis after he retired. He now has a mean backhand!
On a blog, titled, Retirement Planning, the author, Tom, writes that there is not one single day since he retired at age 57 that he does not feel thankful for where he is in his life. He sleeps normally for the first time in thirty-two years, and gets along with his wife famously. He feels fantastic because he and his wife, actually work out every day going to the gym jogging or swimming in season. He claims he has never been so busy and has the time to do the things he could never do. “Color me gone and never looking back”, says Tom.
Another blog commentator, Micheal states, that he began going to the gym after retiring from a sedentary job and became quite serious to the point that he hired a trainer for once or twice a week.
Lots of retirees chose to move closer to the grandchildren. Yes they must give up intimate friendships (They still live close enough to meet to eat a couple of times a month). Making new friends is quite exciting as well. There is certain serenity and maturity that eliminates the competitiveness of younger friendships. Having your children, grandchildren and friends in the same community will give the retiree the greatest sense of security. The give and take of living near the grandchildren is priceless. As much as the senior will give to their children and grandchildren, be it baby sitting, driving or sage advice, they will be getting so much more. The old adage, “ Absence makes the heart grow fonder” may have some validity for young love, however, with grand-kids the more you see them the more you get
For those seniors who are crafty and would even dare to get a little tech savvy, there are multiple web stores which you can sell your products online. I personally used to crochet adorable baby hats and distribute them for free to family and friends. Maybe if I would know how to sell on Amazon I could have been more successful with these hats. Many senior citizens are taking on new careers from the comfort of their home. If you want to learn how to sell your own creations online there are many “how to videos” which will show you how it’s done. For those who have a hand for art you can sell your artwork on Etsy and eBay. Just keep in mind that shipping costs are pretty high when shipping a fragile item. Either way you can now share and get paid for your talents from your home.
Staying healthy in retirement is more than physical. It’s a tremendous opportunity to get to the things you always dreamed of. Embrace the moments and use your talents and experience to make the most of your time. Feel free to stay up late on a project or task and wake up late the next day. Let your mind be free and tap into the things your always had yearned to do when you were bound by a job or family. Here’s hoping your present or future retirement will bring you joy and growth in many different ways.
